Destructive Dance?

Adegan ballet di film "What They Don't Talk About When They Talk About Love" mendadak bikin gue kepikiran lagi kalau Penari ballet itu pelan-pelan ngerusak kakinya karena posisi kaki yang bertumpu di ujung jari kaki menahan tubuh.

Kalau bener, feelingnya antara beautiful & destructive yah... pantesan mata nggak bisa lepas.

Tapi hari gini kan banyak hoax. Jangan langsung percaya. Not even om google. Besok, eh.. ntar siang tanya koreografernya, deh.

iPad atau Note2?

"Mendingan iPad atau galaxy note2?"
Tanya seorang teman yang clueless tentang dua lempengan ajaib tersebut.

"iPad"
Teman yang kenal mungkin kaget dengan jawaban ini,
Karena selama ini seakan gue menjauhi produk apple.

Overpriced.
Transfer file ribet.
Harga servis & spare-part mengerikan.

Tapi teman yang ini nggak suka ngulik.
Pelan-pelan, file yang berantakan & 'kebebasan' android akan menggerogoti kecepatan Note2-nya.
Stabilitas dan kekangan apple sepertinya lebih cocok buat dia.

Ini bukan masalah benci atau fanatik.
Produk apple nggak cocok buat gue,
Tapi buah terlarang ini nggak diharamkan.

Melody

Melody,
How can I forget you?
My soul is spinning in joy as we meet again


There is always a love for you
For you bring me so high,
Then intoxicate this shaken spirit with tunes of sorrow

Please don't leave me
Even this weary ears begging to say good bye
I find my happiness in you.

Little Animal

Beware with little animal
For it is weak
Lethal damage is a must

Bite, Bite, Bite repeatedly
targeting vulnerable veins
As the fireworks burst, scream & crave for more

It's ugly when adrenaline take control
Won't stop till it's over
For the sake of survival

Remember for little animal is still a beast
Discovery & National geography
With extra tint of black and red.

Death

And so my Point of view changed after that
Strange, seeing death in a very relaxed way

Death is a very loyal friend.
It will wait until the right moment.

I will not go if it's not my time.
Yet I won't resist when it's my time.

If I am capable of ending my own life,
I am life and I am death.

Do not fear death
Fear a lifeless life.

Ga Jadi Mati

2006
Gelap, semua gelap
Tarik nafas sedalam apapun juga, masih sesak.
Ini oksigen pada ke mana?
mata lecet karena basah terus.
Sakit.
Capek.
Di saat itulah terlintas Kalau mati, semuanya selesai.
Bisa istirahat.

Gue yang selalu mencibir orang bunuh diri itu bodoh.
Yang selalu punya alasan untuk bertahan hidup.
Mulai melirik kesempatan untuk istirahat permanen.

singkat cerita ga jadi.
Entah terlalu pengecut untuk mati.
Atau terlalu pintar untuk bunuh diri.

dan semenjak itu kematian tidak lagi ditakuti.
Setan dan arwah penasaran tidak seseram itu lagi.
Sudah lihat yang paling menyeramkan dari semuanya.
Diri sendiri.

Cocoon

I am a cocoon
If you hurt me,
I will sput layer of threads
and layer my defense

I'll give you my sight
my time
and my youth
But when you take my pride,
There's nothing left for you to take

I'll never be the same again
To reborn and fly
Or to wilt as a chrysalis

Saringan Suara

"Jangan terlalu dipikirin pendapat orang lain. Capek sendiri, ujung-ujungnya".
Bukannya kita lagi ngomongin teknis kerjaan? Kok jadi ini topiknya?


Hanya memberi tak harap kembali
Udah sampai di sini, Masa' ga balas budi? 

Menurut dia, yang paling penting bahagia.
Suara-suara sumbang menurut frekuensi kuping kita pasti ada.

Kalau diturutin semua, lama-lama jadi gila.
Pengen semua bahagia? Bisa malah berantakan semua.

Dengerin dulu, jangan langsung diterima.
Yang bisa kita percaya ya teman & keluarga.

Kalau nggak percaya teman & keluarga?
Bahkan diri sendiri juga nggak bisa dipercaya?

Itu mungkin yang namanya celaka.
Udah nggak ingat lagi apa yang gue punya.

Untuk sekarang, saringan suara bekerja
Ntar kena hujan angin, lihat aja bolong apa ga.

This Should be Fun

This should be fun

It is. You are blessed with time and exciting experiences

But then came rejection. I'm no good in handling rejection

It's inevitable part of life. If you get hurt, heal and get stronger.

I can't. It's piling up slowly. It's beyond my conscious

Taste more sweetness in bittersweet.

I rarely talk about my feelings. and when i did, i got cut off and subject changed. silly me, like anybody care a shit?

well, there are people who really care.

they expect me to talk about my problems? Like they think they know me that well?!

Now, you are acting funny :)

I know...talk is one thing. what about asking? or should i call begging? and bam, simply no answer. how low can you go?

You should learn to accept "no".

I won't ask if I know it's a "no".

Don't rely on the others then. create your "yes".

Oh, and about that, You know how I got dumped for not being ambitious enough? I despise my performances.

Some will praise, some will hate. It's a good thing.

It's a fucking SAD consolation. I can imagine their pity and jeer beyond their masks.

So you can read people?
...

:)

Yea, go ahead, mock me too

I just hope you have the will to hurt & heal, rise & fall.

Maybe I just can't. I have a bad pain tolerance.

But you don't like being weak?

Yea. Sad thing

Can you be more positive?

Come on, you know how i wanna slap a wake up call on those chirpy, fake euphoric positive faces?

Haha. Remember times when you embrace those things?

Makes me wanna slap my face

 I've seen enough.

But I do see some people I'm comfortable with. Less false positivity

Hangout with them more?

They'll reject me eventually

It's inevitable. Grow up

...

Walk more, discover more, I can't promise it will be fun, but I hope you will find your spark.

...Thanks

Breathe

Let this numb finger dance again
May this weary eyes shine again
Should this locked lips sing again

But the heart is restless
If i have one,
I've been told if i have one

Constantly forgetting how to breathe,
This insatiable pair of lungs keep moving on