Little Animal

Beware with little animal
For it is weak
Lethal damage is a must

Bite, Bite, Bite repeatedly
targeting vulnerable veins
As the fireworks burst, scream & crave for more

It's ugly when adrenaline take control
Won't stop till it's over
For the sake of survival

Remember for little animal is still a beast
Discovery & National geography
With extra tint of black and red.

Would FPI buy this?

I know... the buzz about FPI ban Gaga's Indonesia Tour is just too much.

I thought it's just going to be another publicity shenanigans,

Kinda surprised to know  it might really get cancelled.

I enjoy her songs, but I don't buy any ticket to the show, 

Guess I'm not qualified to be a Little Monster.

But it really tickle my mind to know a stupid hard liner organization can affect 52.000 seats sold out tour.

I  might be not that good at converting feelings to words, so I stick to graphic.

Would FPI buy this?

Toxic Neon Green

I always thought neon green associated with toxic is cliche.
But after washing my new neon green bath mat, it is indeed scary.
First dip, the whole bucket of water turned... neon  green!
Not a light one, concentrate stain potential. Even after the 5th rinsing.

and i remember the same experience with my neon green T-shirt!
I will avoid buying fabric stuff  with this color.
The color keeps coming off and such a fuss when it comes to laundry.
It turns water into Nicki Minaj's video shooting props!

Uncertain Eid

So there is no fix Hari Raya date in Indonesia,
Who might suffer from this?

Dedicated moms & aunties who'd prepare meal for celebration feast,
bad news... our culture & habit is still the same : uncertain.

Catering service... Are you ready for divine trial?
How to keep those coconut milk made food that're easy to get spoiled?

And for those who'd book tight holiday planning,
good luck with rescheduling...

Happy Eid!
:)

Ledeng! Ledeng!

Cek di google maps,
Jalan Banda-Setiabudi waktu perjalanan 12 menit.

Itu standar normal,
standar indonesia ngaret X 2 plus plus
Jadi 30 menit lah...

Naik angkot ledeng,
Buset ngetemnya lama bener...
Si sopir desperate tereak "LEDENG LEDENG!" sambil nengok belakang.

Nengok sama neriakin siapa pak?
Lah nggak ada orang yang mendekat mau naik angkot

Jalan 10 menit...
ngetem lagi...
"LEDENG! LEDENG!"

Muke lo ledeng...

Sampai tujuan, ternyata butuh 45 menit...
Kenapa harus ngetem?
Nggak ngetem, jalanan lancar, perputaran uang mungkin lebih lancar.

Nyari untung?
Kejar setoran?
Egois?

...

Damn...
Ternyata pola pikir gue kadang mirip juga ama sopir angkot.

Tukang Sampah!

Udara sekitar tempat nginap di Bandung sekarang jadi bau asap.
Tukang sampahnya ngebakar sampah pagi, siang dan sore.
plastik & karet ikutan dibakar.

Gue cuma bisa ngomel "Goblok, tukang sampah otak sampah, dll."

Teman menjawab, "Kita nggak bisa nyalahin dia juga sih, Kalau kita ga bisa kasih solusi yang lebih baik."

"Tiap orang kan punya bagian masing-masing. Kalau masih urus sendiri...Buat apa bayar biaya retribusi sampah?!"

demikianlah, gue masih ngomel-ngomel sambil sesekali mikir cara lebih baik pengganti bakar sampah.

Mosquito!!!

I have unanswered questions such as:
“Why nice people die and bad people live?”
“Why good things come to an end?”
“Why we have to suffer?”’

As time goes,
I haven’t found the exact answers.
But I do find some relieving revelations.

Above all...
One annoying question remains a mystery.
“Why does mosquito exist in this world?”

They spread disease,
They suck your blood and leave a serious itch,
They make annoying buzzing sounds near your ear,
They even looked scary.
They live to make others' life miserable...

I can’t find a single positive thing about them.
They just bring all the negative energy inside of me!

How excited when I manage to squash them flat.
But the real excitement is when I caught them alive,
And do things that make PeTA weeps.

I’m still waiting for the answer,
Even if I have to travel back in time
To exterminate the ancestor of the species...

Room of Torture

I was at Bandung for a project pre-production.
My bedroom was located in front of house renovation spot.
Bad news, I'm allergic to excessive dust exposure...

1st night,
Nose starting to get blocked and runny.
Mosquitos buzzing around my head, kept me woke up a few times.
I have problem with mosquitoes too. They just hate me.
and i hate them even more.
Covered my face with blanket to avoid mosquito buzz,
Just to make my allergy even worse.

The morning after I wake up feeling not well.
Sneezing like crazy. My lungs are screaming for mercy.
Extremely irritated, Runny, red nose & eyes.
Took allergy pill, it helped a bit.
and then came the bedtime again...arrggghh

2nd night,
as soon as I got on bed, the allergy got worse.
and the mosquitoes are just going crazy.
As if they call more backup as a potential victim is there.
With insect repellent cream, I avoid to be a blood donor,
But those blood suckers from hell seems pissed off.

Consecutively flying near my ear,
Buzzing loud to keep me jumped awake after a slight sleep.
I clapped my hands, instead of killing those cursed insect,
My eardrums felt hurt.
Over and over again.

After numerous disrupted sleep and clapping (20 times+?)
Felt like i slept a long time.
SO relieved that it's already morning.
Checked the clock... it's... 2AM
I just spent 2 hours.
Seriously????!!!! 

Spent another hours with those flying @$$holes and dusty bed?
I'm outta here,
Going to 2nd floor to that sofa.
Guess what? The door to 2nd floor is locked.
And it's also the way to kitchen.
I'm locked down here til morning with no drinking water.
Felt the urge to toilet to find out I got diarrhea.
There I was,
Allergic, Thirsty, liquid shit, irritated.

Tried to clean the bed & pillow sheets outside,
and survive without sleeping til morning.
Last things i remember checking clock was 5AM.

7AM, i woke up, Feeling nauseous.
As if my cheena face got crushed by Aretha Franklin's ass.
Drank water, run upstairs to take a civilized nap.

Going back to Jakarta on 1PM, for a birthday event.
not because i gave up with the room of torture,
But to be honest, yes I'm a bit traumatized.
Thinking of that room just bring the idea
of throwing gasoline, burn it down, and dancing over the ashes.

Hell smiles, it's not over yet...
The diarrhea? It's the worst i've ever had.
To the point I'm relieved I had my Life insurance ready.

But bed-resting, give me the time to contemplate.
To complain less and find the solution instead.
Maybe that's how positive thinking people can enjoy life so much.
Problems meant to be solved for them.

I will buy a brand new pillow at Bandung,
Cover the moldy smell mattress with Bedsheet I brought,
And I heard the room ventilation is now fixed with insect net.
I'll still get an electric plug-in mosquito repellent,
Just in case.

and who knows all the drive came after watching a reality show?
tired of watching a contestant keep on complaining,
over and over again.

Cucian di Kos

Kosku tercinta, 800ribu sebulan,

Sudah termasuk cuci baju.

Sayangnya Mbak yang nyuci barbar.

Mungkin depressed karena tante kos pelit,

Cucian jadi pelampiasan.

Karet celana dalam & lengan kaos melar,

Begelombang mirip sotong kering.

Kadang aroma amis di baju tercium.

Baunya mirip selangkangan.

Jadi merinding membayangkan nyucinya pakai apa.

That’s it.

Untuk baju yang terlanjur kamu rusak, Silakan dirujak.

Baju baru yang lain, biar cuma kaos uniqlo 50ribu,

Takkan kubiarkan tersentuh selangkanganmu.

Eh, maksudnya tanganmu.

Busway, Nggak Ketebak...

18 Mei 2011

Dari Grogol ke Pondok Indah, 120 menit? Cukup...

Lain cerita kalau naik Busway.

Nggak ketebak...

Dari arah Tomang lancar.

Transit di halte Grogol,

Transit point Lebak Bulus sudah pindah.

Plang transit point tetap di posisi lama.

Nggak ketebak...

Siang hari panas, ditambah desain halte yang ngawur,

Bikin makin pengap, keringatan, badan lengket.

Kalau sudah begini, Roh Kudus Kresten ikut menguap.

Berganti syaiton berbisik “senggol-bacok..senggol-bacok”.

Eh beneran, ada ABG mencoba coba nyerobot antrian.

Syaiton mengakselerasi refleks kaki,

Dalam sepersekian detik kaki si ABG  terinjak,

Sret! 2 tas berat memblokir sisa ruang di bagian kiri.

Si ABG ga protes kakinya diinjak,

Entah nyadar malu nyerobot antrian,

Atau ngeri liat syaiton menari di kepala yang nginjak.

15 menit,

30 menit,

45 menit,

WTF? Jalanan lancar gini?

Sopir nyasar ke disko dangdut Puspita?

Nggak ketebak...

Hampir sejam, akhirnya datang juga.

At least bisa keringin keringat di dalam bus,

Ternyata eh ternyata, AC bus sudah bobrok

Nyembur angin hangat, memperparah suasana.

Masih untung dapat duduk...

Setengah jam perjalanan lancar,

Sampai Gandaria city macet,

Lewat itu lancar,

Sampai terowongan macet,

Lewat itu lancar lagi...

Nggak ketebak...

Sampai tujuan, telat 20 menit.

2 jam nggak cukup.

Mesti lebih banyak waktu yang habis di jalan.

Busway... dari Perencanaan,pembangunan,pelaksanaan,

Standar sampah.

Sampah busuk buangan oportunis

Pencari untung dari hasil curian proyek.

Dan yang menyedihkan,

Saya masih bergantung pada sampah ini,

Untuk transportasi terjangkau yang mendingan di Jakarta.

Bagaimana rasanya?

Nggak ketebak...

Choco Challenge

Will have a photoshoot session with 18 Elementary School kids
in 2 days.

Planning to bring some sweets to give some extra sparks.

Hey, this Chocolate Pistachio Fudge recipe by Nigella is super easy!

Why not put some love in hand made chocolate?

So let’s buy some ingredients!

I head to Carrefour with expectation,

A hypermarket will provide things that I need.

Which turn out wrong.

What about Hero supermarket?

Here’s the detail of missing stuffs:

Decorative Plastic Bags

Small decorative bags to wrap the chocolate.

At Carrefour, I found some really hideous plastics,

Maroon Rose pattern –Tante Girang style-

What the hell is this pattern doing in kids section?!

At Hero, another sets of ugly patterned plastics

Please... just simple cheesy stars or hearts, please?

I decided to just use plain zip lock bags

And later draw smiley face with marker

Rubber Spatula

To scrap those sticky semi solid chocolate fudge.

Ordinary spoon won’t do the job well.

At Carrefour, this huge place doesn’t have a freaking spatula!

At Hero, browsing around like crazy, no rubber spatula...

Only their own produced hard spatula.
It’s so hard as if it’s dipped in Viagra diluted water.

Just a flexible normal rubber one, please???

Disposable baking tin foil

To mold the chocolate compound before cutting into pieces.

At Carrefour, only small size ones left,

Plus its already torn open, spoiled.

At Hero, I found the correct size,

Just to realize there’s some ugly curve embossed line

In the base of the baking tin foil

Complemented with batch number.

Is it a sin to produce a basic plain tin bake foil?

Cooking Chocolate

Prefer semi-sweet or sugarless cooking chocolate.

to avoid stingy oversweet taste.

The recipe already use a tin of sweet condensed milk.

Both Carrefour and Hero only have full sweet cooking chocolate.

We like it damn sweet here.
Viva Diabetes!

That’s it...

Sorry kids...

I’ll just go with ready to buy
Factory mass produced milk chocolate.

Nigella,
You made it looked so easy and chic.

I dare you to come and do it tasteless Tomang style...

Circle of Death

Osama Bin Laden is dead.
Does that suppose to relieve me from fear?

Police raid in central Java, killed terrorist leader.

The so called victorious troop ecstatically proud, considered this as an achievement.

Leaders dead. fueling more hatred,
giving birth to more new generation of brainwashed  radicals.

Both sides get hurt endlessly,
A circle of death.

Can we look forward for peace,
When seeds of hatred are planted?

Better Jakarta

Besoknya, setelah lumayan tenang, tapi jempol tetap nyut-nyutan,
Ngobrol santai tentang infrastruktur Jakarta.

Kata yang ngerti tata kota, sesemrawutnya Jakarta, masih bisa diperbaiki.
Paris juga dulunya berantakan dan suram.
Tapi sekarang dirapiin, sampai dibuat kaya crop circle gitu... bentuk matahari bersinar.

Lalu kenapa Jakarta nggak dibenahi?
Yang "di atas" nggak mau benahin.
Takut ngurangin jatah "makan"nya.

Loh, kan mereka makannya nggak kenyang-kenyang? Maruk.
Nggak akan dibenahin dong?
Makanya perutnya buncit-buncit. Nggak mau bagi makanan ke yang perlu.

Better Jakarta?
Butuh lebih dari sekedar kemauan.

Foto aerial Jakarta

Foto aerial Paris

Jalanan jakarta

Jalan kaki di Jakarta serasa main video game.
Hindari Lubang! Loncat! Ada genangan air! Ada rintangan! Ranting pohon berduri! Tukang palak!
Makin semangatlah koar-koar kalau Jakarta harus pakai mobil, nggak layak jalan.

Lebih yahud lagi, berani coba jalanan Jakarta pas hujan?
Gue dan Nat diantar ke daerah Semanggi saat cuaca mendung.
Mestinya sampai sebelum hujan, tapi Jakarta wajib macet,
ekstra 30 menit. Langit makin mengancam. Tenang, ada payung.

Turun di jembatan penyebrangan, masih harus jalan 15 menit.
Hujan dan angin makin menggila.
Nggak bisa berteduh di jembatan penyebrangan, air hujan tetap nyiprat.
WUs! Angin tiba-tiba kencang, payung terbalik dan jepit jari tangan. Kulitnya lepas...Aw

Nggak ada halte bus, nggak ada tempat berteduh. Jalan terus!
Trotoar hancur, jalan dengan kaki nyemplung genangan air.
Kadang mesti jalan di pembatas batu, sekalian ngetes keseimbangan badan.

Sampai di tempat tujuan, celana basah kuyup, sepatu nyerap air.
Keringkan badan seadanya di toilet dan lanjut meeting di ruangan ber-AC
3 jam di sana, sampai celana sudah mulai kering dan badan menggigil.

Pulang, ganti baju santai, ganti sandal, makan malam.
Nat mulai mual, panas, pusing. gejala masuk angin. Istirahat, minum tolak angin.
Untungnya meski bersepatu basah 3 jam gue masih belum ada gejala sakit.

Jalanan Jakarta Seakan nggak puas gue nggak sakit,
gue kesandung gundunkan aspal tajam di jalan.
Kulit jempol dekat kuku robek.

That's the boiling point.
Marah! Marah! Tapi marah ke siapa?
Emang yang punya wewenang ngebangun peduli sama jalanan Jakarta?

Nggak perlu mobil.
Cuma pengen punya Trotoar layak jalan dan sarana umum yang beradab.

Am I asking too much?
I guess so...

Insulting Camera Feature

some camera has "blink detection" feature. It might be helpful, or... quite insulting...

fitur " Anti kedip" pada beberapa kamera tidak ramah sipit...

source : http://news.3yen.com/

confessions (Japan, 2010)

A psychological thriller of a grieving mother turned cold-blooded avenger with a twisty master plan to pay back those who were responsible for her daughter's death.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1590089/

The movie started very slow, but the tension and story grows, 
and it turned out to be one of my favorite movie.


How bad can you screw up people who had destroy your happiness? 
For those who hold grudge deeply, this movie is a pure satisfaction.