Little Animal

Beware with little animal
For it is weak
Lethal damage is a must

Bite, Bite, Bite repeatedly
targeting vulnerable veins
As the fireworks burst, scream & crave for more

It's ugly when adrenaline take control
Won't stop till it's over
For the sake of survival

Remember for little animal is still a beast
Discovery & National geography
With extra tint of black and red.

Death

And so my Point of view changed after that
Strange, seeing death in a very relaxed way

Death is a very loyal friend.
It will wait until the right moment.

I will not go if it's not my time.
Yet I won't resist when it's my time.

If I am capable of ending my own life,
I am life and I am death.

Do not fear death
Fear a lifeless life.

Ga Jadi Mati

2006
Gelap, semua gelap
Tarik nafas sedalam apapun juga, masih sesak.
Ini oksigen pada ke mana?
mata lecet karena basah terus.
Sakit.
Capek.
Di saat itulah terlintas Kalau mati, semuanya selesai.
Bisa istirahat.

Gue yang selalu mencibir orang bunuh diri itu bodoh.
Yang selalu punya alasan untuk bertahan hidup.
Mulai melirik kesempatan untuk istirahat permanen.

singkat cerita ga jadi.
Entah terlalu pengecut untuk mati.
Atau terlalu pintar untuk bunuh diri.

dan semenjak itu kematian tidak lagi ditakuti.
Setan dan arwah penasaran tidak seseram itu lagi.
Sudah lihat yang paling menyeramkan dari semuanya.
Diri sendiri.

Cocoon

I am a cocoon
If you hurt me,
I will sput layer of threads
and layer my defense

I'll give you my sight
my time
and my youth
But when you take my pride,
There's nothing left for you to take

I'll never be the same again
To reborn and fly
Or to wilt as a chrysalis

Saringan Suara

"Jangan terlalu dipikirin pendapat orang lain. Capek sendiri, ujung-ujungnya".
Bukannya kita lagi ngomongin teknis kerjaan? Kok jadi ini topiknya?


Hanya memberi tak harap kembali
Udah sampai di sini, Masa' ga balas budi? 

Menurut dia, yang paling penting bahagia.
Suara-suara sumbang menurut frekuensi kuping kita pasti ada.

Kalau diturutin semua, lama-lama jadi gila.
Pengen semua bahagia? Bisa malah berantakan semua.

Dengerin dulu, jangan langsung diterima.
Yang bisa kita percaya ya teman & keluarga.

Kalau nggak percaya teman & keluarga?
Bahkan diri sendiri juga nggak bisa dipercaya?

Itu mungkin yang namanya celaka.
Udah nggak ingat lagi apa yang gue punya.

Untuk sekarang, saringan suara bekerja
Ntar kena hujan angin, lihat aja bolong apa ga.

This Should be Fun

This should be fun

It is. You are blessed with time and exciting experiences

But then came rejection. I'm no good in handling rejection

It's inevitable part of life. If you get hurt, heal and get stronger.

I can't. It's piling up slowly. It's beyond my conscious

Taste more sweetness in bittersweet.

I rarely talk about my feelings. and when i did, i got cut off and subject changed. silly me, like anybody care a shit?

well, there are people who really care.

they expect me to talk about my problems? Like they think they know me that well?!

Now, you are acting funny :)

I know...talk is one thing. what about asking? or should i call begging? and bam, simply no answer. how low can you go?

You should learn to accept "no".

I won't ask if I know it's a "no".

Don't rely on the others then. create your "yes".

Oh, and about that, You know how I got dumped for not being ambitious enough? I despise my performances.

Some will praise, some will hate. It's a good thing.

It's a fucking SAD consolation. I can imagine their pity and jeer beyond their masks.

So you can read people?
...

:)

Yea, go ahead, mock me too

I just hope you have the will to hurt & heal, rise & fall.

Maybe I just can't. I have a bad pain tolerance.

But you don't like being weak?

Yea. Sad thing

Can you be more positive?

Come on, you know how i wanna slap a wake up call on those chirpy, fake euphoric positive faces?

Haha. Remember times when you embrace those things?

Makes me wanna slap my face

 I've seen enough.

But I do see some people I'm comfortable with. Less false positivity

Hangout with them more?

They'll reject me eventually

It's inevitable. Grow up

...

Walk more, discover more, I can't promise it will be fun, but I hope you will find your spark.

...Thanks

Breathe

Let this numb finger dance again
May this weary eyes shine again
Should this locked lips sing again

But the heart is restless
If i have one,
I've been told if i have one

Constantly forgetting how to breathe,
This insatiable pair of lungs keep moving on

Flora & Fauna

Ups.. sekilas kebaca "Flora & FAUNA".
Makanya jangan terlalu semangat pasang foto di semua billboard, Pak ;D

Hati-hati kalau beli kaos

Ini T-Shirt saya pakai sejak usia sekitar... 13 Tahun?
Ajaib, sepertinya nggak ada yang sadar betapa maksiat gambarnya.
(Menurut standar Deddy Mizwar; lain halnya standar Annabel Chong)

Sekilas seperti gambar tribal unyu
Ternyata oh ternyata... betapa heboh per ho-oh an para Bizzar Sex Trio.

I got early subliminal sex education!
Bapak-bapak, Ibu-ibu, hati-hati kalau beli kaos.

Would FPI buy this?

I know... the buzz about FPI ban Gaga's Indonesia Tour is just too much.

I thought it's just going to be another publicity shenanigans,

Kinda surprised to know  it might really get cancelled.

I enjoy her songs, but I don't buy any ticket to the show, 

Guess I'm not qualified to be a Little Monster.

But it really tickle my mind to know a stupid hard liner organization can affect 52.000 seats sold out tour.

I  might be not that good at converting feelings to words, so I stick to graphic.

Would FPI buy this?

Toxic Neon Green

I always thought neon green associated with toxic is cliche.
But after washing my new neon green bath mat, it is indeed scary.
First dip, the whole bucket of water turned... neon  green!
Not a light one, concentrate stain potential. Even after the 5th rinsing.

and i remember the same experience with my neon green T-shirt!
I will avoid buying fabric stuff  with this color.
The color keeps coming off and such a fuss when it comes to laundry.
It turns water into Nicki Minaj's video shooting props!

3 Rasa Baru Magnum

3 rasa es krim Magnum baru telah dicoba:

Chocolate & Strawberry

Awalnya kepikiran strawberry...meh...udah biasa & nggak istimewa

Tapi ternyata paduan saus strawberry, es krim vanilla & Chocolatenya enak banget.

It's a succesful harmony of basic flavors, dengan kejutan asam segar strawberry.

Entah lidah yang salah, atau saus strawberrynya juga spesial. Beda dengan yang di Conello.

Chocolate Brownie

Lapisan luar coklatnya bertabur kacang mede. Yum

Ternyata "chocolate brownie" itu rasa es krimnya.

Padahal udah berharap ada potongan kue brownie di dalam :|

Golden Hazelnut

Lapisan coklatnya bertabur kacang hazel. Yum

Dengar Hazel kebayang Nutella dibuat es krim...mmm...

Tapi ternyata es krim hazelnya berasa essens palsu di lidah.

Kurang enjoy makan yang ini.

Dan baru-baru ini dengar kabar kalau ada kemungkinan Magnum Cafe 

dibuka lagi di Mall Grand Indonesia.

Semoga kualitas & Porsi, & harganya tetap dipertahankan :)

Family Stories

There were 3 of us in the car, sharing gloomy side of our family.
A story spilled from her lips,
How she ever got dragged-hair-pulled from attic to downstairs.

Another story spilled from another lips... a darker one.
About her aunt, maybe i should just skip this one... my turn...

"I don't remember ever being slapped or hit by my mom..."
but wait,wait! :D I hastily catch up,
delighted to show off my version of f*cked up family tales.

This chinese new year, in an usual "let's get over this" family gathering.
I was called into a room, and shoved some photos,
"Here... look at these... these are your father's (bastard) kids...
Oooh... can't imagine how they've grown up now..." in a sighing somehow excited voice.

I consider myself as an epic fail chinese who doesn't believe in superstitious,
but shouldn't we keep the positive energy during chinese new year?
Bastard siblings photos are baaaad energy.
Learn your feng shui 101!

Back to 3 of us in the car. 3 stories, and more hidden beneath.
and that's why whenever a happy family shown to me,
bitterness shrieks: "There must be something, SOMETHING wrong with yours too!"

Then came in my mind a happy family i know in Australia.
Their eyes speaks kindness. Whenever the kids do wrong, Mom n dad explain and share their thoughts, unlike many others who "baby talk" or simply ignore their kids.
Bitterness shrieks, but to be true, Sappy thoughts also appeared,
Please, let them be happy.

Self Probe

"Describe yourself"
"What's your passion?"

Pertanyaan seperti ini bikin gue mati kutu.
Karena nggak kenal diri sendiri.

Atau berusaha nggak kenal diri sendiri.
Just go with the flow.

Background keluarga menyebalkan,
Mending lari dari kenyataan.

Tapi lari ke mana?
Nggak kenal diri sendiri, nggak tahu arah.

27 tahun hidup, mari kita mulai menganalisa diri.
"Ah, finally...It's going to be fun :)"
"No, it's going to be painful."

Dipost public di blog?
"cukup lo nutup diri. Sekali-kali coba telanjang?"
"you know the limitation, and you can always set the post as private."

Self probe.

Mari menulis

Setelah sekian lama nggak nulis, apa yang bisa jadi pendorong?
Bete karena pesanan es krim mahal tapi seuprit hampir berhasil, tapi ternyata belum cukup kuat.

Ternyata terjebak di tol jkt - bdg efektif untuk mulai menulis.

Hari ini 27 jan 2012, ada demo buruh.
Mungkin capek demo di gedung servis WC 2milyar nggak direspon,
Mereka demo di...jalan tol!

Sholat massal jumatan di jalan tol.
Huahaha komedi religi

Mendadak buldozer tragedi tian an men jadi terdengar masuk akal.

At least gue didorong untuk aktif di ruang terbatas ini.
Tidur udah, dengar lagu udah.
Mari menulis.